Absurd Black Holes

Absurd. I was clicking through the main stories on one of my frequently used search engines this afternoon and I realized that the things they post are generally absurd. For instance, why should anyone care that Justin Bieber got angry with paparazzi in Israel? Why should anyone care that a tennis star got injured at a wedding? Why should anyone care that a BYU basketball player was asked to complete his coursework online?And who cares that Kirstie Alley’s shoe came off?

All these ridiculous articles are intermingled with extremely politically-driven stories about all the bad stuff going on in the world, like Japan’s nuclear plant Level 7 status and the craziness in Libya.

And then you get the filler stuff, like, “How to date after a Divorce” and “Haunted Mansions.”

And as I was clicking through the thumbnails linked to these articles, I realized just how much time I was wasting when I have plenty of other things to do today. I still have to pack, I still have to shop for in-air snacks and toys to keep Hula Girl busy on our flight, I still have to write out our itinerary and mail it to the appropriate people. I still have to show the neighbors how we’d like our lawn and garden watered while we’re away.

Yet, there I was. Clicking through politically-inspired, brain-desensitizing drivel instead of doing the things that must be done. I feel like I’m back in college.

It makes me wonder if Americans would be “on top” again if we all stopped using technology. At home, it’s a productivity-black-hole. At a desk job, I can see how it would dull your skills and proficiency to the point where the boss would have to hire someone extra just to pick up the slack. What if we all just stopped using technology, or were only allotted a certain number of minutes of technology per day? Say, 60 minutes. Here’s how I’d divide that 60 minutes (I would use all my technology time for internet use):

Minutes 1-14: Check emails, respond, and write a few of my own.

Minutes 15-27: Check blog for comments, respond, and write a new post.

Minutes 28-46: Check online board I help moderate, respond, and write any new topic posts I needed to write, and if I have spare time, check blogs I follow occasionally.

Minutes 47-53: Facebook. (The word “Facebook” is a verb. So that is, in fact, a complete sentence.)

Minutes 54-55: Check out tomorrow’s weather forecast.

Minutes 56-60: Read 2 blogs I follow religiously.

That would be a much better use of my technology time than just sitting there, mindlessly clicking to find interesting articles. I mean, sure, they’re all interesting. That’s the way they’re written. Kudos to the journalists’ professors in college; they taught their students how to catch and hold the interest of the general public. But, seriously, what a waste! Those stories not only waste my time; they waste a lot of other peoples’ time as well- for starters, they waste the time of those sorry masses who troop daily into their cubicles and spend hours “working” and producing very little. Keep going back and back and back, and you realize these stories are a waste of a good solid college education.

We don’t need Superman (Waiting for Superman). We need chalkboards. Or at least that’s how I feel about it today.

 

 

Oy, with the Poodles Already!

The title is a quotation from my favorite TV series, Gilmore Girls. They took the funniest words they could think of and combined them to make a phrase. Well, the phrase seems to fit today. Except, replace the word “poodles” with “TEETHING” and you’ll have a great idea of what’s going on around our neck of the woods.

Yes, teething. Apparently I am raising Hula Girl to be a sissy when it comes to pain and sickness. She just does not handle them well. I will give the girl a little bit of credit. She IS getting four teeth in at the same time. Four. All four top center teeth. I think they’re called the incisors? She already has the bottom two teeth, and has since Thanksgiving. I’m not sure why she’s decided to sprout four more today. It seems like they’ve been a long time coming and that they could stand to wait a few more weeks, until after our trip to California. But perhaps Hula Girl’s genetic disposition for tooth growth follows the “when it rains, it pours” idiom, and since she’s been so sick, it’s time for teeth!

Regardless of the reason for the timing, they’re here. Well, almost. I can see all four of them, just sitting there, right under her gums, waiting to pop out at any moment. In fact, the right center tooth has poked through- a smidge. Actually, less than a smidge. About a half of a half of a half of a millimeter is sticking through. That’s about an eighth of a millimeter of pure tooth. And an eighth of a millimeter of pure tooth equals a lot of pain for Hula Girl.

She’s been very good during her wake times. She’s played well, crawled happily, and pulled herself up heroically while grasping her teething ring and flailing it around like it’s some kind of prize she’s won. (Short anecdote: after briefly munching on her teething ring this morning, she decided to share it with me by whacking me on the nose with it repeatedly. This elicited peals of laughter from said whacker. Thank goodness her drooly little gums melted it a bit before the whacking commenced.)

However, sleep has been fitful at best since last night. She first cried out around 7:15, or 30 minutes after I put her down. Very strange timing, indeed. She then proceeded to moan in her sleep about five or six times during the night. (I only know because I was awake coughing-still!) Then she woke at 6:00 a.m., crying as if something was wrong. Of course, teething still didn’t occur to me at that point- I was thinking it must be a diaper issue related to the antibiotics. Jonathan dutifully got up and changed her… not poopy… diaper. He put her back down, but she was up at 6:45. I figured 15 minutes early wasn’t going to kill our schedule, and she most likely would make up the missed sleep during her first nap, as long as I got Tylenol in her first. She didn’t make up the sleep, but she did take a good nap.

Her second nap, however, just started… an hour and a half after Jonathan put her down. Those teeth.

Last night I watched the documentary Waiting for Superman and I realized I absolutely must get back into a classroom. It’s where I was meant to be. More on this topic later.

Would you rather go to the dentist or get a flu shot?

%d bloggers like this: