Eviction Notice


To: Gelato

I am terminating your tenancy and want to evict you from the following property:

Your Mom’s Abdomen

My reason for evicting you is

You have been there long enough. Sure, sure, we have a 9 month/40-week lease agreement, but I’m just getting tired of your antics. You’ve gotten so big that Mommy can no longer polish her toenails or tie her shoes. Your sister is unable to enjoy Mommy’s lap because, well, you’ve stolen Mommy’s lap and kept it hidden for the past few months. You’ve violated curfews by causing Mommy almost nightly episodes of severe pain and discomfort. Oh, and did I mention that Mommy, Daddy, Sister, and Family are dying to meet you in person?

You must move from the property by the following date:

ASAP. If you must wait any longer than that, the absolute latest date is August 2, 2012.

If you do not agree with this eviction notice,

you have the right to legal advice and may contact a lawyer.

Name of Owner or Agent: Mommy

Address of Owner or Agent: 1234 Middle Abdomen Lane

Torso, Body 56789

Telephone Number: 1-800-2-GET-OUT

Date: 7/25/12

1 Comment

  1. Kristy said,

    July 25, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    One of my favorite things I have ever read.

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