“I don’t care if it’s a MONKEY!”

So when my mom delivered me, she (very stubbornly) chose the natural route, but I was equally as stubborn and I had a ginormous head. Hence her classic quotation: “I don’t care if it’s a monkey, get this thing out of me!”

They had to use the vacuum extractor. Then I had a cone head. My dad always tells me I looked like Jabba the Hutt. Apparently I had big jowly cheeks to accompany my cone head.

Anyway, I was thinking about how I am looking forward to Gelato’s delivery and how much nicer it will be once he’s on the outside. Sure, it will be TIRING and HARD. But you know what? I am so ready for a change. I am ready to not weigh as much as a small elephant. I am ready to have people stop saying, “We thought he’d be here by now!” Because, um, duh, you saying that you thought he’d be here by now is REALLY uplifting to my spirits when I’m four thousand pounds, dumpy, unable to tie my own flipping shoes, and in pain. Thank you for your input. I am ready to be able to play with my daughter without having to bend around a watermelon-sized overgrowth on my abdomen. And, let me tell you- I can’t wait to lie down on my BACK!

But aside from those wonderful after-delivery things, I am looking forward to Gelato’s delivery. I feel very prepared for pretty much anything. Delivery doesn’t seem scary to me at all this time around. Sure, I know I’m going to be in a lot of pain. Possibly the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life. But I have had a kidney infection, which is rumored to be even more painful than childbirth. But that pain is going to bring something incredible. And then when it’s over, I will get to look back and be proud of myself for accomplishing so much for a second time. Wahoo! I plan to be super proud of myself.

And if he’s a monkey, so be it.


  1. shanz83 said,

    July 24, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    This is my first pregnancy and people keep looking at my belly and saying, “you must be due so soon!”… uhhhh… I’m not due until November. So thanks a lot. Really not helpful when you already feel like a whale and you know you’re only going to keep expanding from now until November!

    You have a great attitude towards labour! Much admired.

    • July 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm

      Haha, I totally understand! People have asked me (this time around) if I am having twins. Mmmm, nope!

      Good luck in November with your labor and delivery- it’s super nerve-wracking when you haven’t done it before, but get as much info as you can. And then it really is SO worth it!

  2. Kristy said,

    July 24, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    I am proud of you already! What a great outlook.

    • July 24, 2012 at 5:14 pm

      lol, thanks Kristy! (Does my Jabba reference have anything to do with you being proud of me?)

      • Kristy said,

        July 25, 2012 at 7:31 am

        Well, I do love that you included a Jabba video clip. 🙂

  3. Jeremy Irish said,

    July 26, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    His dad was a monkey (hee hee)!

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