37 Weeks

Well, we have arrived. Full-term. Now, more than ever before, we are READY for this child to make his debut.

Today I’m not quite feeling as excited or happy to meet Gelato. Today I am feeling defeated, run-down, ganged-up-on, and I want to sigh all the time. Instead I got to go to the OB’s office, wait an hour and twenty minutes to even see the doctor, engage my toddler to keep her happy and on her best behavior (she did very well- this is not a complaint of mine), stop for gas on the way home, pray every time we started the car that the A/C would work (for some reason it was pooping out on us yesterday-today it worked 100% perfectly), deal with immense ginormosity, and put my absolutely melted-down-screaming-her-head-off-for-forty-five-minutes-straight-beyond-logical-reasoning-worked-so-hard-to-be-good-all-week-and-just-can’t-handle-it-anymore-toddler down for her nap.

Sigh.

My extended family is going through a lot of changes and really tough things right now, too.

Sigh.

I learned that I tested positive for GBS this time around, so I will have to have IV antibiotics every 4 hours once labor starts. And Gelato has a very slight chance of major complications that could keep him in the hospital for weeks, and cause permanent damage. I know there’s nothing that I could have done differently to prevent any of this… but it just seems unfair. Just another thing to worry about.

Sigh.

Hula Girl is stressed out. She has been absolutely perfect for us for the past four days, running here and there and sitting for interminable periods of time in waiting rooms and offices, keeping herself busy with books and ponies. But today she reached her breaking point and when we went upstairs for her nap, she began to cry and cry. She cried for over forty-five minutes, all the way through four prayers, two books, five songs, three water sips, two pajama changes, and a phone call. Eventually I had to just go in, use a very firm voice, and tell her, “Stop crying. It is not time to cry. It is time to sleep. Lie down, close your eyes, be quiet, and go to sleep. I will not be back until nap time is over.” I felt like the world’s most unreasonable, unconcerned Mommy. She still cried for me for the next ten minutes. But me being in there was not helping her sleep, and I had lost all my patience. I’ve never told her not to cry before. We always tell her it’s okay to cry. Why is today different?

Sigh.

Sigh.

Sigh.

I could really use a dose of peace in my life right now.

5 Comments

  1. Kristy said,

    July 12, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    If it helps at all, I can identify with the nap time crying episode. We have had night time crying off and on for months. When we got back from the road trip (and while we were on vacation), I felt bad for him and tried to gradually give him less and less time and attention as he cried and tried to fight sleep. As always, I eventually found that he would go to sleep within ten minutes if I just left. And closed the door all the way. Even though he would scream for it to be open a crack. I feel so terrible at those times. But the data show that I am doing him a favor in terms of him getting enough sleep if I do it the quick and no-nonsense way. I know you are on board with that sort of thing, just commiserating here. 🙂

    I will be praying for the perfect health of your baby and hoping that the GBS doesn’t make any difference at all – other than the antibiotic treatment.

    I hope you find your moments of peace very soon.

    • July 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm

      I was so frustrated at having to just leave her today! We just went through all that a month or so ago, so I thought we were through that hurdle- but progress is a spiral, I guess! 🙂
      Thank you for the prayers and the words of hope. That’s pretty much all that’s going to do it for us.

  2. July 12, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    awww girl, hope you can find some peace to get through these final days. try not to even think about the GBS thing (i have it too, never even had the chance in my labours to have antibiotics and all has been fine). such a slight chance, so i would put that to one side (even tho i know it all piles up). You are a great mama and your girl is fine – likely tired and feeding off your stress and exhaustion too. but as i have found lately – kids are tough and resiliant and she knows how loved she is. be gentle with yourself and try not to sweat the small stuff going on around you. your sweet boy is coming!! all will be well xx

    • July 12, 2012 at 7:10 pm

      So great to hear from you, Kate. Thank you for the reminder that our kids really do well with out-of-the-ordinary circumstances. I am also glad to hear from someone else who has GBS and hasn’t had complications from it. My mind reels just thinking about what “could” result from it. I am taking a mental break from everything hard until he arrives. All preparations are in place, all decisions have been made, all errands have been run, and I am just plain ready to be wrapped up in my husband, a newborn, a toddler, and my home again. Retreat! (besides, who really likes trying to figure out “new” ways to wear the same four maternity outfits over and over and over and over…. lol)

  3. July 19, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    […] ten minutes late. Of course, we were seen about 20 minutes late, but 20 minutes is a lot less than an hour and 20 minutes! Hula Girl finished up her graham crackers and then played with a group of four kids who were in […]


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