Absurd Black Holes

Absurd. I was clicking through the main stories on one of my frequently used search engines this afternoon and I realized that the things they post are generally absurd. For instance, why should anyone care that Justin Bieber got angry with paparazzi in Israel? Why should anyone care that a tennis star got injured at a wedding? Why should anyone care that a BYU basketball player was asked to complete his coursework online?And who cares that Kirstie Alley’s shoe came off?

All these ridiculous articles are intermingled with extremely politically-driven stories about all the bad stuff going on in the world, like Japan’s nuclear plant Level 7 status and the craziness in Libya.

And then you get the filler stuff, like, “How to date after a Divorce” and “Haunted Mansions.”

And as I was clicking through the thumbnails linked to these articles, I realized just how much time I was wasting when I have plenty of other things to do today. I still have to pack, I still have to shop for in-air snacks and toys to keep Hula Girl busy on our flight, I still have to write out our itinerary and mail it to the appropriate people. I still have to show the neighbors how we’d like our lawn and garden watered while we’re away.

Yet, there I was. Clicking through politically-inspired, brain-desensitizing drivel instead of doing the things that must be done. I feel like I’m back in college.

It makes me wonder if Americans would be “on top” again if we all stopped using technology. At home, it’s a productivity-black-hole. At a desk job, I can see how it would dull your skills and proficiency to the point where the boss would have to hire someone extra just to pick up the slack. What if we all just stopped using technology, or were only allotted a certain number of minutes of technology per day? Say, 60 minutes. Here’s how I’d divide that 60 minutes (I would use all my technology time for internet use):

Minutes 1-14: Check emails, respond, and write a few of my own.

Minutes 15-27: Check blog for comments, respond, and write a new post.

Minutes 28-46: Check online board I help moderate, respond, and write any new topic posts I needed to write, and if I have spare time, check blogs I follow occasionally.

Minutes 47-53: Facebook. (The word “Facebook” is a verb. So that is, in fact, a complete sentence.)

Minutes 54-55: Check out tomorrow’s weather forecast.

Minutes 56-60: Read 2 blogs I follow religiously.

That would be a much better use of my technology time than just sitting there, mindlessly clicking to find interesting articles. I mean, sure, they’re all interesting. That’s the way they’re written. Kudos to the journalists’ professors in college; they taught their students how to catch and hold the interest of the general public. But, seriously, what a waste! Those stories not only waste my time; they waste a lot of other peoples’ time as well- for starters, they waste the time of those sorry masses who troop daily into their cubicles and spend hours “working” and producing very little. Keep going back and back and back, and you realize these stories are a waste of a good solid college education.

We don’t need Superman (Waiting for Superman). We need chalkboards. Or at least that’s how I feel about it today.

 

 

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